Friday, April 10, 2009

Dear Diary...

There is no one in the world that knows more about me than "Dear Diary." Since I was fourteen years old, I started writing to "Dear Diary" and our relationship has continued to blossom. Sometimes I'm hesitant in what I write to "Dear Diary," because I'm afraid that I'll be a disappointment. But "Dear Diary" has never raised an eyebrow or objection about anything that I've written. Instead, "Dear Diary" has remained steadfast and faithful and has never judged me. Sometimes, when I don't feel like writing to "Dear Diary," we sit and reminisce. I can't believe how much "Dear Diary" remembers. "Dear Diary's" memory is astounding. There are instances that are crystal clear to "Dear Diary" that I may have completely forgotten. More importantly, I can't believe how much "Dear Diary" continues to teach me even after all these years. There are times when I have written to "Dear Diary" in absolute assurance that certain actions of mine were true and correct or my treatment of others were justifiable, but as time passed and "Dear Diary" is in the mood to reminisce again, in the most non judgemental way I am brought to see the real truth of my actions. "Dear Diary" is my most truest mirror and my most dearest confidant. There are times when thoughts run ragged in my mind and without "Dear Diary" I would drown in them. And then there are moments, the most solitary of moments, when I feel so weighted down that "Dear Diary" is my only solace and comfort. I'm most grateful for the times that "Dear Diary" has forgiven me when I have
been lapsed in writing. I would sometimes have dry spells that last months and when I finally do write to "Dear Diary" I'm playing catch up with all the events that have happened. I feel bad that I've treated "Dear Diary" so poorly, but never a harsh word is spoken about my absence. Even now, when I've put off writing to "Dear Diary," there are so many things that I could have or should have written; I feel neglectful but at the same time I know that "Dear Diary" is patient and knows that when I am ready to write . . . I will.