We were different in so many ways. She was athletic (volleyball and softball), graceful (hula), helpful in the kitchen (she helped mom cook dinner), watchful over my younger brother and I (very maternal). It wasn't difficult to be impressed and envious of her many talents. While I, on the other hand, was tall, gawky, awkward, and extremely clumsy. LOL.
But Lorrie would always tell anyone and everyone how "smart and pretty" her sister was. I didn't believe her. I also wasn't sure if she actually believed it, or if that was just something she liked to say to people. We never fought or argued. Mainly, because I never wanted to test her. Perhaps I knew instinctively that she could whoop my ass! Why test that theory?
Lorrie had such natural loving abilities. I knew she'd be a great mom. Children flocked to her, and she loved them all. That was not the case with me. Children always gave me a wide berth . . . and I was grateful for that. I was not cut out to be a mother -- to anyone! When she gave birth to Travis I learned to love children. Well, specifically, I learned to love her children. Travis, Trysten, and Trayse. She gave her children such love . . . and through them, I learned more about love than I knew possible.
As adults, things changed between us. I wanted to stand under my own shadow and not hers. I became more assertive in my life and less willing to accept other people's opinions about me. I felt that my life had been stunted and controlled for too long, and I made it a point to hand out firm NO's whenever the occasion warranted it. Looking back on things, that might not have been the right way to handle some of those situations. But hindsight being what it is . . . what can you do but live and learn?
I learned a lot of huge lessons from my sister. I learned how wonderfully she loved her children. I learned that sometimes you just need patience. I learned that being available to others really counts. I learned she really did think I was smart and pretty. I learned that I don't know everything. I learned that grudges are only one-sided. I learned that sometimes it's better to keep your mouth shut and not say anything.
I'm really going to miss her. I'm grateful we were sisters!
